Harlequin Doll
by DarkPheonix 666
Summary: Sequel to Psycho love (Batman Adventures) How Harley was moulded into The Joker's Hench girl/Lover and became his partner in crime HarleyxJoker
1. Chapter 1

The Joker paced back and forth as he plotted his scheme of getting revenge on Batman "I'll have to keep hidden and heal first but then I'll kick that Dork knight's ass!" he said deviously.

Harley was sat upon some crates taking in what she was saying but she couldn't help but peer at herself in the reflection of the car bonnet reflection. She looked so different compared to her normal self and she felt scared a little of what she'd become.

She had only felt confident before due to adrenaline and eagerness to be with him but now a small part of her sanity was screaming at her to stop. She bowed her head and sighed heavily.

The Joker stopped pacing and stared at Harley she was looking despondent and somewhat scared. He felt a little concerned but at the same time curious "Something troubling you Harls?" The Joker cooed walking towards her.

"I...I...um" Harley stammered she didn't know what to say "It's just..." she began but couldn't think of anything.

The Joker sat next to her "I know what it is your scared aren't you" he said smiling at her.

"Uh huh" Harley sighed feeling like she had disappointed him.

The Joker smiled "Cheer up pooh you'll get used to it your just new at this is all" The Joker said and kissed her on the lips.

Harley's eyes widened this was different to back when she was his doctor he was being gentle with her and caring. She closed her eyes and returned his kiss cupping his cheeks in her hands.

The Joker pulled away "Feel better Pooh?" he said deviously.

"Yes sir" She said leaping to her feet and saluting him proudly.

"Good girl now you can come help me with my work since I can't exactly write yet" he chuckled.

"Sure thing Mistah-J" Harley said taking his free hand and walking alongside him. She would soon get used to this life she just needed some training.

**_Back at Arkham_**

"The Joker BROKE out?!" Batman said in amazement. He had left The Joker in a critically injured position so how on earth could he have escaped?

"He wasn't alone I can tell you that some of our staff claim he had a helper in this but everyone patient here is accounted for" Dr. Leland said firmly.

"It...It was Harley" Dr. Smith said nervously appearing behind them.

"WHAT?!" Dr. Leland said confused and stunned. Why and how would Harley do such a thing.

"She was friendly with The Joker but I never thought anything of it" Dr. Leland said shrugging.

"He seduced her" Batman said firmly.

"WHAT?!" the two doctors said in shock and horror.

"It's the only possible option and you know how cunning he is" Batman said firmly.

"Oh Harley" Dr. Leland sighed she had so much faith in Harleen but she had fallen victim to The Joker.

**_At Funnibone warehouse_**

Harley was writing down The Joker's idea humming cheerfully as she did so "I got it all down Puddin" she said showing him the plan.

"Excellent work Harls" the Joker said patting her head. She was proving to be quite a useful Hench girl. He took the plan and rolled it up and then turned to face her "Not to be rude my dear but what exactly can you do?" The Joker asked suspiciously.

If she was merely there to be cute then she would be a pain in the ass and no fun at all which was not what he wanted. He wanted a gal that could be useful and could help him when fighting batman.

"I...I have a qualification in Gymnastics" Harley said shyly.

The Joker's eyes widened there was more to this chick then hit the eye. He smirked "Ok then pooh let's see your moves" he said deviously.

Harley took a few steps back then did 5 flips and did a quick spin in the air before landing on her feet "How was that Puddin?" she said smiling.

The Joker was impressed she was rather flexible for a girl in her 30's "That was great Harls now what about fighting?" he said patting her head.

Harley's headdress dropped "I..I only know basic karate I never took it any further" she said apologetically.

"That's ok Pooh we'll just have to work on it" He said pinching her cheek fondly.

"Ok Mistah-J" she said happily and hugged him.

The Joker winced as she hugged him "Um...Harls" he groaned painfully.

"Oh sorry Puddin I forgot" she apologized nervously.

The Joker smiled "No problem pooh just think more before you act" he said patting her head again.

Harley smiled she would enjoy being The Joker's sidekick from now on and she could get back at Batman for hurting him so often. She blushed a little as she thought of all the romantic moments they could have together.


	2. C2: More than just a pretty face

The Joker was sat in his office going over blueprints for his upcoming plans. He was not as badly injured as he was before but his arm was still injured.

Harley had proved herself a useful little Hench wench/Lover to him. She was very good at sneaking up on people, a good fighter but she still needed training, had a good sense of humour and was her intelligence helped improve plans. When it came to the bedroom it was a whole other story. Harley was more skilled than the average woman and was capable of improvising in any situation.

The Hyena's Bud and Lou had taken a liking to her and followed her everywhere. It gave him peace and quiet keeping them amused. She fed them, bathed them, walked them and showered them with more love than humanly possible.

Her only downside was her clingy attitude. Whenever he was around she would cling to him like he was a god damn teddy bear. Her whiny attitude was a pain in the ass and that would mainly be the reason for their arguments now and again. She was getting used to the Pun's but she still needed a bit of practice but often she could improvise on her own.

After a while he began to get bored and wondered where Harley was so he decided to go see what she was up to. Sometimes if he surprised her when she was concentrating she would fall over or drop something on herself which made him laugh.

_**In Training room**_

"Ok…One more try" Harley said firmly. She had been training for hours and her body ached but her mind pushed her to continue.

"Harley?" The Joker said curiously but in a slightly firm tone.

"Hi Puddin" Harley said sweetly turning to face him.

The Joker smirked and eyed her slender figure. She may have been a whiny bitch most of the time but she had one hell of a body and it was HIS property so nobody dared touch her. Those who were stupid enough to even LOOK at Harley were dead within a second of even suggesting making her their own.

Harley had removed her costume to keep it clean and her make-up was gone due to the fact it would get messy due to sweating. She had her blonde hair tied in a ponytail which reached her elbows. She was wearing dark blackish red lipstick, grey eye shadow and black mascara. Her outfit consisted of a black sports bra with a zip front and some knee length stretchy black leggings.

"Working hard Pooh?" The Joker said still eyeing her chest from time to time while looking at her face.

"Sure am Mistah-J I'm your Hench girl after all and I have to be as useful as I can!" Harley said beaming at him.

The Joker smiled it was rare to find a girl so dedicated to learning about his lifestyle and pushing her body to become stronger. It made him feel proud that he had snapped her mind and seduced her otherwise he wouldn't have someone to compliment him as often as she did.

"Hey Mistah-J I kinda thought about some weapons of my own but I wanted to discuss em with ya" She said looking worried.

"Then let's hear em toots" the Joker said holding his good arm up to ear in a playful manner.

"A giant wooden mallet but in a black and red colour with Diamonds on the base Y'know to match my costume" she said smiling.

The Joker was impressed but was unsure of her physical strength "Sounds good sweet's but are you STRONG enough to use it" He said in a slightly teasing manner.

"Sure I am Mistah-J just gimme a chance" Harley said winking at him.

The Joker smiled she was a playful little minx but she was no pushover and at times her stubborn attitude was what pissed him off "You any good with guns Harley?" he said curiously.

"Not really Puddin but I can learn" She said smiling at him.

The Joker admired this about Harley she wasn't knowledgeable in some of his ways but she was willing to learn which was something that most girls avoided unless they were police officers.

"I could stick in a cork of knock out gas or ropes that'd be a laugh" he said grinning.

"That sound great Puddin" Harley said excitedly.

"Not to pry Harley but what were you DOING down here?" he said raising an eyebrow.

Harley rubbed the back of her head nervously "I…I was practicing my gymnastics" she said shyly.

The Joker's eyes widened and his mouth nearly dropped "You can do GYMNASTICS?!" He said stunned. He had always just thought her a blonde bimbo with brains but he was proved wrong.

"Uh huh I got an O level and was championship material but I never got the cut" she said feeling awkward.

"Why?" He said sounding pissed off. If she was that good then why did she waste her life in Arkham?

Harley smiled fondly "Because there is something interesting about Criminal minds that just pulls me in like you Puddin" she said winking at him.

"Harley…" he said fondly she always found a way to compliment him in the sneakiest of ways. He reached out to praise her but was in for a surprise.

As he got closer Harley back flipped away from him and then smiled at him in a teasing manner "Come and catch me if you can" she teased.

The Joker smiled deviously his arm may have still been injured but the rest of his body worked just fine. He began to walk quickly after her to which she dodged him again and again playfully.

"C'mon Puddin don't you want a kiss" she giggled cartwheeling away. She eventually stopped when she hid behind a crate.

There were a few footsteps and some grumbling but he also chuckled a few times which meant he was halfway enjoying this game but he KNEW he was eager.

"I hate to tease him but he's so cute when he gets a little peeved like this" she thought to herself and giggled.

Suddenly a shadow loomed over he to which a hand grabbed her by the arm pulling her up "Gotcha Harls" he said smirking.

"You found me" She said smiling at him with cheerful eyes.

"You're my little Harlequin of course I'll find you" she said pressing her against his chest.

Harley gazed into his deep dark eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck "I Love you Puddin" she said softly.

He didn't love her but she was a sweet kid and fun to be around (especially in the bedroom) so he took a deep breath and smiled "Me too Harls" he lied.

The pair shared a sweet kiss and surprisingly The Joker LIKED it. The taste of her cherry lip gloss somehow made him want more but he held himself back and pulled away gently.

"Like that Puddin?" She said smirking; her eyes twinkling mischievously.

The Joker grinned "It's a secret" he said pinching her nose playfully.


	3. C3: Learning your place

The Joker was sat at his desk writing a scheme to destroy batman once again. Thanks to Harley's help and thorough nursing skills he was better than ever and ready for revenge.

Suddenly he heard footsteps behind him and rolled his eyes. He knew it would be Harley pining for attention again but he was busy. There was work to do and he had lots to catch up on after his last face off with Batman.

"Ahem" Harley said from behind him. She posed sweetly hoping he would turn around and look at her. Much to her disappointment he continued sitting at his desk scribbling away. She pouted crossly and walked up behind him then smiled at him fondly.

He was writing another plan on how to get rid of his foe the dark knight. Day and Night he was sat at his desk working himself to the bone on how to destroy his foe for good and have Gotham all to himself.

She climbed onto the desk slowly. She crawled atop it so she was in front of him and sprawled out placing her hands in front of her.

Joker ignored her and continued to work not even looking up at her. He was in no mood for her games right now he was busy hatching another plan.

Harley smiled then leaned forward "Ahem" she said hoping to get his attention finally.

"Go away I'm busy" He said firmly in an annoyed voice. He didn't bother to look up at her and continued working.

Harley smiled fondly at him gazing at him with her big blue eyes "Aw c'mon Puddin" she said playfully and got into a kneeling pose holding her hands in front of her as if she was riding a bike.

The Joker was in no mood for playing around. When he wanted to fool around with Harley it was on his watch not if she was in the mood. He had work to do and it was far more important than messing around in the bedroom.

Harley smiled cheerily "Don't cha wanna rev up your Harley? Vroom Vroom". She began making noise and twisting her wrists as if she was riding a motorbike in an attempt to hopefully arouse The Joker.

The Joker looked up at her a huge frown on his face. He raised his hand to her face and shoved her off the desk crossly sending a few stray paper's flying in the process.

Harley made a small cry as he shoved her hard off the desk and onto the floor. A small "Oof" escaped her lips as she hit the hard ground.

The Joker peered at his work tapping the paper thoughtfully. He had a downhearted expression on his face as he tried to think of a cunning plan. Despite this he was hitting a brick wall and nothing was coming to him.

"Oh sweetie I brought the whoopee cushion" Harley said in a playful voice and presses it in his face. During their intimate times Joker would place the end close to her pussy and press hard. The large blast of air from within it would stimulate and arouse her clit causing her to moan lustfully. It was an activity she enjoyed immensely it just depended on her ability to coax The Joker.

The Joker sighed heavily he was growing tired of Harley's pestering and just wanted to work. Not amused by her antics he pushed it away crossly getting to his feet.

Harley followed him frowning at him with a slightly bored look. All she wanted to was to have some fun with him was it too much to ask for?

"Batman was right..." he said crossly folding his arms behind his back as he paced "That foul play was corny.." he kicked a scrunched up ball of paper crossly "...Old hat".

Harley watched him as he did this with curiosity and innocence. She then wondered over to his desk to see if his plans were really as bad as he thought them to be. She rolled open a plan slowly to peek at it.

Suddenly the Joker approached and she backed off nervously in case he yelled at her.

"It's time I cut off his cue with his ultimate humiliation..." he said clearing his desk crossly.

Harley merely watched him with a surprised yet confused look. She knew how hard it was for him to be targeted by the bat but wasn't there an easier way?

The Joker grabbed some paperwork and began flipping through the pages "...Followed by his deliciously delirious death".

Harley stood behind him quietly clasping her hands behind her back watching him. She just wished he would ask her for advice too after all she wasn't exactly an idiot.

The Joker continued flipping through the pages of his notebook reading his ideas firmly. He had a rather peeved yet thoughtful expression upon his face.

Deciding to try and be helpful Harley raised a finger to her lip thoughtfully as she tried to come up with a plan.

Joker was unaware of this as he was too involved in his schemes. There had to be some way to do in Batman ending with him in one of his deadly jokes.

Suddenly an idea sprung to Harley's mind her headdress raising excitedly as she did so "Why don't you just shoot him" she suggested trying to be helpful.

Joker stopped what he was doing stunned by her outburst. He dropped the paperwork an enraged expression spreading across his face. He turned to Harley crossly "Just SHOOT him?!" he said angrily.

Harley smiled sheepishly her headdress drooping. She begun to back away slowly knowing she was in trouble.

The Joker walked towards Harley in an ominous looming manner pointing his finger at her crossly. "Know this my sweet..." he said clenching his fists in front of him "The death of batman must be nothing less than a masterpiece!..." he said throwing his arms either side of him.

Harley continued backing away nervously she hadn't meant to make him mad she just wanted to be helpful. Granted it wasn't one of her best ideas but she just made a mistake is all.

Yet again The Joker clenched his hands in front of him only closer to his chest "The triumph of my comic genius...".

Harley expecting to get hit dodged out of the way nervously. She hated it when he scolded her but she knew that her ideas weren't as great as is.

"...Over his ridiculous mask and gadgets!" He yelled angrily suddenly spraying his acid.

Harley dodged out of the way fearfully crouching down upon the floor and covering her head. The Acid sprayed onto the batman dummy's head causing the head to melt and fall to the floor.

As the head fell The Joker watched it menacingly. He loathed batman more than anyone on the face of the planet. HE was the one who caused his transformation into Joker so it was only fitting that he should be the one to kill him.

Harley watched the head fall of nervously thinking about how that could of been her. She breathed a sigh of relief as the thoughts filled her mind.

The Joker turned away and headed back towards his desk crossly. The day Harley understood his style would be the day he would turn sane.

Suddenly he spotted a plan on the floor and became excited "Well hold the phone!" he said picking it up.

Harley merely watched him from where she was. It was weird how fast he could change moods but his unpredictability was what she loved most about him.

Joker looked upon the plan with a gleeful grin "Here's one I forgot..." he said reading the plan his smile growing bigger. "The death of 100 smiles".

Harley approached slowly remaining quiet and cautious in case he got mad again. Being around a psycho she had to tread carefully.

"I'll lure batman to a secret lair..." he released one grip into a fist "Then...BANG!" he yelled punching the air.

Harley cowered away from him nervously taken aback by his outburst.

"Plop him into my specially prepared Piranha tank..." he said grinning and burst into laughter at the thought of Batman's demise.

Harley watched him with a slightly shocked look. She had never seen him so excited over a plan before it was sort of admirable. She cowered away slightly holding her arm feeling unsure of where she stood at this point.

"The last thing he'll see are those beautiful hungry smiles as they rip him to..." he stopped mid-flow and his expression becoming somewhat thoughtful as he realized the flaw in his plan.

Harley was confused he seemed to be happy with the plan and it sounded great so why was he so unhappy about it all of a sudden?

The Joker was still in a thoughtful "Oh wait...wait" he said snapping his fingers grinning a little. "Now I remember why I scrapped this plan" he said his expression puzzled and surprised. He dropped the blueprint to the floor becoming annoyed "Piranha's can't smile..." he said crossly. They were the only fish not affected by his Joker venom "...Even my own Joker venom couldn't get a giggle out of them".

The Joker sat atop the stairs curling his knee's under his chin resting his hand on his cheek thoughtfully. It wasn't fair weren't there any fish that could kill Batman while under the influence of his venom!?

It broke Harley's heart to see him so sad. She approached him slowly a smile upon her face she knew how to cheer him up. She got onto her hands and knees slowly and began to crawl towards him.

The Joker continued to feel miserable as he thought about what a screw up the plan was.

Suddenly a hand began stroking his hair and another began tickling his chest a little "I know how to make some smiles Puddin" She said smiling at him lovingly.

The Joker peered at her quietly with one eyebrow raised. As cute as she was and a rather good seductress too this was not a good time to be fooling around.

**_In alleyway_**

The Hyena's Bud and Lou were lay in the street resting and keeping guard in case of intruders. Suddenly they perked up as the sound of someone approaching filled their ears.

The back door burst open and Joker kicked Harley into the street crossly to which she landed in the dirt.

The Joker slammed the door behind him crossly. He stormed towards his desk and got back to work as time had been wasted dealing with Harley's antics. He frowned crossly "Selfish brat doesn't she know that when I say NO I mean NO!?" he said angrily.

He sighed heavily a thoughtful expression upon his face. Perhaps his harsh training was to blame I mean it was great that she was so loyal but her clinginess had become an issue.

The Joker opened his drawer to reveal a hand mirror. He peered at his reflection and smirked "Hello handsome" he said grinning wickedly.

Suddenly it hit him why Harley was so attracted to him but who could blame her he was damn right gorgeous; The thought of this made him grin wider. He then sighed heavily "She may be a dame with great taste in men but she sure is a clingy whiney little brat" he said crossly.


	4. C4: Precious or a pain

Harley lay on the bed grumbling crossly. Since their last run in with Batman she had been injured rather badly and was plotting revenge.

"Just you wait Batsy I'm gonna make you pay" She grumbled angrily.

She had broken her arm, sprained her left ankle, received a bullet wound in the shoulder and her body was covered in bruises and scrapes. Whenever she moved never-ending pain shot through every part of her but she never cried because she was supposed to be strong for her Puddin.

"Hey Pooh how you feeling?" The Joker cooed entering the bedroom. He looked concerned but was wearing a gentle smile that made her feel tingly inside.

"I'm doing okay Puddin I can't wait to get better and kick B-Man's ass" She said in a gentle yet frustrated tone.

The Joker chuckled and sat next to her on the bed. He had brought some first aid supplies as her bandages and Gauzes needed changing.

"What are those for?" she asked curiously peering at the first aid supplies.

"You need to change your bandages pooh don't want an infection now do we?" he said patting her head gently.

Harley shook her head and sat up painfully her body still aching with pain. She was used to it but she still hated the feeling of being useless to her beloved clown.

The Joker gently removed her shirt to get at the injuries on her chest. He peered at her scrapes carefully and smiled "These are healing up nicely...still look nasty though".

He began dabbing at her scrapes with a cotton wool bud to which Harley winced and whined. He hated it when she wriggled about when he was busy trying to fix her "Keep still" he grumbled.

"Sorry Puddin it just stings" She sniffed tearfully.

"I know but I'm trying to help you get better" He said grinning at her.

"Yes sir" She said smiling sweetly at him.

When he was done tending to her scrapes he sat up "That's better now how's your ankle and bullet wound?" he said sternly.

"My ankle is doing ok-ish so I think I can walk again soon but the bullet wound is still hurting" Harley said sadly.

The Joker kissed her cheek "You'll be better soon Harls I promise" he said gently.

"Whatever you say Puddin" Harley said sweetly and snuggled into her pillow.

The Joker got up and left the room. He was still infuriated that Batman had been so rough with Harley during their last fight; It was his job to hurt her not his enemies. As for the bullet wound Chief Gordon had shot a bullet at him but Harley had pushed him out of the way.

"Harley is MINE and only I am allowed to make her cry" The Joker snarled angrily as the memories flooded his mind.

He smiled as he remembered her loving gaze when he tended to her injuries. Even when broken she was still fighting which he loved about her.

The Joker made his way downstairs into the kitchen. He emptied the bowl of water down the sink drain and placed the flannel for the wash. He then put the first aid kit away thinking how he usually was the one being patched up by Harley but now it was the other way around.

Suddenly the phone rang to which he answered it. He was baffled to who could be calling so late but he answered it nonetheless "Hello?" he said gruffly.

_"Hello Joker? I heard Harley was beaten pretty badly by Batman in your last fight" _Ivy said worriedly.

"Nice to hear from you Pam but no worries she's healing nicely but will be off her feet for a while" The Joker said firmly.

_"You better not be harming her!" _Ivy hissed angrily.

The Joker frowned "Hey I only hurt her when she's been disobedient or when we're having sex. This was all Batman and the police that caused her injuries NOT me" he snapped.

There was a long sigh from the other end of the phone. He hated how Ivy ridiculed his relationship with her when she slept around with various men and had a major fight with 2 Face before resorting to screwing him again.

_"Look just keep her safe got that clown" _Ivy said firmly.

"You have my word Pam" The Joker chuckled then hung up. He left the kitchen and decided to chill out in his office for a while till he was in a better more reasonable mood.

Suddenly Bud and Lou came bounding towards him to which he knelt down and ruffled their heads and stroked their manes. They were mainly Harley's pets but they had become affectionate towards him too.

"Sorry boys but mama is unwell so you have to listen to what daddy says for now okay" he said firmly but in a gentle tone.

The Hyena's looked at him and then smiled cackling wickedly their tails wagging. To some they would be fearsome, strong and bloodthirsty beasts but in Harley and his own eyes they were playful, adorable and useful.

"Good boys now go play" he said tossing a bone at them to which they ran off after their meal.

The Joker made his way to his office and slammed the door. He leaned against it for a while thinking about Harley's fragile state. There was going to be no end to Ivy's calls until Harley had recovered but he would just have to deal with it.

"I need a drink" he grumbled crossly. He walked towards his desk and slumped into his chair exhaustedly. He wasn't tired physically but worrying over Harley drained him of whatever energy he had. He opened his desk cabinet and found a bottle of whiskey and a tumbler. Slowly he poured himself a drink then savoured it blissfully.

"Damn that stupid bat can't he ever just leave my toys alone!" He snarled angrily. He would love to see Batman's face if he battered his precious boy blunder or Batgirl to a bloody pulp.

He could never understand why Batman got angry at him for hurting others yet let his police buddies shoot the crap out of Harley then push her off a building when she was escaping.

He picked up Harley's picture from his desk. It was black and white but she still looked as deadly and radiant as ever. He kissed her face gently and stroked it "Get well soon my little Harlequin" he sighed sadly.


End file.
